The Orb of Hello
by lopktitanic
Summary: This is a crossover between Harry Potter and Zelda. It is extremely weird. Read and rate.
1. Orb of Hello

1**This is a crossover between Harry Potter and Legend of Zelda. It is extremely weird. Hope you like it!**

One day, Link and Zelda were on a journey to find the mystical Orb of Hello. After many hours of searching, they got annoyed. "The triforce said it would be on a big hill", said Zelda angrily. "I don't see a big hill anywhere." "Zelda", said Link. "What?", Zelda barked. "There's a big hill behind you", Link said. "Why didn't you tell me that before?", she asked angrily. "I didn't feel like it", replied Link. "Dumbass", muttered Zelda..

When they finally reached the top, they opened the Orb of Hello, only to find a shampoo bottle inside. "Wait, read what it says on it", exclaimed Link. "Okay", said Zelda. _" Lather, rinse, and repeat." _"What the heck?", said Zelda. "Well, we might as well try it", Link said. "Okay", replied Zelda.

After using the shampoo, they fell asleep, and then magically appeared in front of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "Why is there cross-dressing elf and a elf-princess looking girl right here?", asked Harry. "You know what I'm thinking?", said Hermione. "That we should go get high?" exclaimed Ron. Harry started laughing. "You said high", said Harry. "Guess what?", Harry asked Ron "What", asked Ron "Nylon" says Harry with a real serious voice. Ron started cracking up. "Why do I have such immature friends", asked Hermione rhetorically.

**Sorry the first chapter's so short. Anyway, it's supposed to be odd.**


	2. Lunch in the Igloo

1** Disclaimer**: I don't own anything

Chapter Two: Lunch in the Igloo

"Why do I have such immature friends?, asked Hermione.

"Actually I was going to suggest we get introduced to each other properly, by tea or something," said Hermione.

"But where?", asked Harry

"I know just the place", stated Ron, "So follow me."

After shoving them in to a plastic trashbag, they put the bag into the trunk of a golf cart and rode off. Soon they had finally arrived.

"An igloo?", Hermione retorted.

"Why else would I dress up in my princess outfit?", Ron replied

"You are the most mental person I have ever met", said Harry

After much arguing, they all went inside the igloo and took the sleeping charm off of Link and Zelda, and they woke up.

"Where the heck are we?", asked Zelda

"We are wherever the magical shampoo took us", replied Link

"Okay tell us about yourselves", said Harry

"Hi, I'm Link and this is Zelda. We come from Hyrule. I'm 10 and Zelda's 11. We fight the evil wizard Ganondorf. We each have a triforce We do not eat fried food on Wednesdays. Who are you all?", said Link.

"I'm Harry and this is Ron and Hermione. We go to a school of witchcraft and wizardry called Hogwarts. We are 13.", replied Harry

So they all had lunch and get to know each other, when suddenly Hermione comes up with a plan.

"You should go to Hogwarts!", exclaimed Hermione

"Good idea!", everyone says.

They all start singing High School Musical songs together

**How did you like it? Give me any ideas you have.**


	3. Professor Jemima

1Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter Three: Professor Jemima

They all started singing High School Musical songs together.

Later on, Link and Zelda were being sorted with the first years. It was Link's turn at the sorting hat.

"Hmm, well, you're definitely not in Ravenclaw or Slytherin", the Sorting Hat said.

"Why?", asked Link

"Because you're optimistic and stupid", replied the Sorting Hat.

Suddenly, the Sorting Hat exclaimed "Griffindor!".

It was Zelda's turn now.

"You're definitely not in Hufflepuff or Griffindor", said the Sorting Hat.

"Why?", Zelda asked.

"Because you're pessimistic and logical", the Sorting Hat replied.

"Ravenclaw!", the sorting hat exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in their new class, Defense Against the Dark Foods. Their professor was rather odd.

"Yo, I am Professor Jemima!", Professor Jemima screamed.

"I am here to teach Defense Against the Dark Foods", she said.

"Okay", Harry said.

"Alright", said Hermione.

"Yo momma's fat", shouted Ron.

"You did not just diss my momma!", exclaimed Professor Jemima.

Then, Professor Jemima got out a pancake gun, and was about to shoot Ron with it, when suddenly, Link and Zelda came in.

"What are you doing here?", asked Harry, Ron, and Hermione simultaneously.

"Our other class was boring so we left", said Link.

"Actually, we cast a polka dancing spell on Snape, then everybody left", retorted Zelda.

Link pointed his sword at Professor Jemima, but before he got to do any thing, she exploded. Syrup got every where. There was a lot of syrup.


	4. Shanaylanay

Disclaimer: still don't own anything

The Hogwarts daily announcements came on.

"Link and Zelda Hyrule are being skipped to third years due to their good magic skills and fly moves", said the intercom.

Professor McGongall stood to make an announcement.to the class.

"As you may know, we always have an extra random class, and due to the exploding of Professor Jemima, we will have a new subject as a replacement", said Professor McGongall.

"This will happen every time a teacher is in need of replacement", added Professor McGongall.

They arrived in their class, and the teacher pranced into the classroom.

"I am Professor Stantaylanay, and I will be teaching you poetry", said Professor Shantaylanay.

"What on Earth does poetry have to do with magic?", asked Hermione.

"It just does", sang Professor Shantaylanay in a jazzy tune.

"Why", sang Ron.

"Cause it does", she said.

"Oooohhhhhhhhh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy", sang Ron.

"Caaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssseeeeeeee iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt dddddddddddddddddooooooooooooesssss", she sang harmoniously.

"Anyway", said Professor Shantaylanay, "You will be writing poems about summer".

After everyone finished writing their poems, they had to read them to the class. They had been going alphabetically, and it was Hermione's turn.

"Summer", said Hermione.

Warmth of the sun on your face

Shining, so brightly

Swimming to cool off

Eating ice cream

Summer

Now it was Zelda's turn.

"Summer", said Zelda

Link is such an idiot,

Sometimes I wonder how one mind can be so small

He's dancing on top of a roof

He just fell off

Now he's trying to vacuum

But it's not plugged in

This is what I watch on an average summer day

Some other people went up and read their poems, and now it's Harry's turn.

"Summer", said Harry.

This is not fun

The Dursleys are sticking me in a cabinet

They have twisted minds

They are making strip in the neighbor's lawn

That cat is attacking me

They're going to hunt me down for saying magic

Ow

"Summer", said Ron.

Searing heat and blinding sun

Umbrella in the trash

Mum making some disgusting stuff

Maybe it's leftover cooked mixture on a stick

Eating it, now I remember what this was

Road kill

Link was the last one up.

"Summer", said Link

Froggy on a Cloud

Once there was a froggy who lived on a cloud

He would never leave the cloud, is what he vowed

He was a froggy that belonged to a Nazi

Therefore he was swarmed with paparazzi

And all he ever wanted was some peace and quiet

Not all this annoying riot

He was sad and went through depression

Anger and aggresion

It was just no fun

He even tried being a nun

But then he found that cloud

And never to leave was what the froggy vowed

With that, the teacher just left. Everyone just looked at Link.


	5. Miss Moore

Professor McGongall stood to make an announcement.to the class.

"As you may know, we always have an extra random class, and due to the exploding of Professor Shanaylanay, we will have a new subject as a replacement", said Professor McGongall.

"Hello class, I am Miss Moore, your dance instructor", said a tall strange looking man in a monotone voice.

"Don't you mean Mr. Moore?", one of the students questioned.

"NO!", he shouted rather loudly. "Oh, and by the way, we have two new students", said Miss Moore. "Please welcome El Taylore and Frawg".

Taylor was a nerd. Frawg was on her left side normal, and on her right side emo. Seriously, on her right side she had long red hair and stylish clothes and on the other side had black hair that was spiked in the back and wore black and green clothes.

"You will get into partners, boy and girl, and create a dance routine to a song by Avril Lavigne", said Miss Moore. "Since there are two more boys than girls, Weasley, you get to be a girl".

Ron got angry and started muttering to himself.

They all picked partners. Link and Zelda were together. Hermione was with Malfoy. Harry was with Luna. Ron and Neville got stuck together. El Taylore and Frawg were partners.

Harry and Luna danced to Things I'll Never Say. They had a pretty normal routine. Besides that it was a lyrical dance.

El Taylore and Frawg danced to Sk8er Boi. They tap danced to Sk8er Boi.

Link and Zelda danced to My Happy Ending.

Hermione and Malfoy two-stepped to Anything But Ordinary.

Ron and Neville danced to Girlfriend. It was rather interesting.

Miss Moore ended up leaving because he got a chance to preform Hannah Montana in Madagascar.


	6. The Edwards

Professor McGongall stood to make, yet another, announcement to the class.

"Now, you all should have a subject replacement for Miss Moore", McGongall belched.

Their new teacher galloped into the classroom. "Greetings, I am your new teacher, The Edwards", exclaimed The Edwards.

"Don't you mean Mrs. Edwards?", questioned Malfoy.

"No!", "I mean The Edwards!", she said. "And you believe that is my name".

"No, I don't", said Malfoy.

"Yes, you do", she proclaimed drunkenly. "Anyway, I am here to teach y'all of four things: One, when it is excellently good to use a creepy pick-up line, two, the proper way to destroy a lamp with a chainsaw, and my personal favorite, how to use office supplies as instruments.

"I thought you mentioned four things", stated Link.

"Do not correct me fool!", shouted The Edwards, quite angrily.

"Now we shall proceed to our first lesson", said the teacher.

And suddenly, as if by the powers of fate, all at once, marvelously, like it was twin telepathy, crazily, they did not all go ice skating and toe-loop after toe-loop crash into the Bojangles sign.

Instead, as if by the powers of fate, all at once, marvelously, like it was twin telepathy, crazily, Luna leaned in towards Harry, as Link leaned in towards Zelda, as Ron leaned in towards Hermione, as Neville leaned in towards Malfoy, and all at once Luna, Link, Ron, and Neville asked "Do you work out?", "Sort of", replied Harry, Zelda, Hermione, and Neville, quite awkwardly, "Why?", they asked. Luna, Link, Ron, and Neville said back in a dead on Napoleon Dynamite voice : " Because you have a body like a gazelle".

"That was fancy", was all that Neville could say.

"That was fabulous!", exclaimed The Edwards with great joy.

And then she started to sing Fabulous, from High School Musical.

"Onto the next lesson", she said, "Everybody, go and get a chainsaw out of the bathtub to the left."

"Well, this sounds like fun", cheered Link.

"Tasty", said Luna, in a very sensual tone.

"Now, get a lamp.", said The Edwards, "And make sure the hummingbirds in the cabinet don't eat you".

They all gathered into Professor Umbridge's classroom very quietly, and then turned on their lamps and chainsaws.

"WTF?!", exclaimed Umbridge.

"Now everyone, take a wack at the lamps and run!!!!!", screamed The Edwards. And they did.

When they were back in their own classroom, The Edwards cast a spell that made the bathtub fill up with apples.

"Now everyone!", said their teacher, "Here's another use for your chainsaws". "APPLESAUCE!!!!!!!!"

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the Legend of Zelda are not mine. Neither is the gazelle quote.**


End file.
